haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
