Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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