bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
