This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
