Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
