HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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