i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
