dude i'm inner monologue high
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
