so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Vodka?
Forever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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