yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize