Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
