I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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