i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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