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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
