Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
