She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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