So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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