I'm drive I can fine osifer
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
