The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize