i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my sisters under your porch take her home
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
