you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
