yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
