One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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