As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
