Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
