My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
