You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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