So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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