Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Your penis caused this!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
