Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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