Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize