Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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