do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
