Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
