Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
