Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
