They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
