do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
