i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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