A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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