No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
