I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
