she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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