Its about making memories worth repressing
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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