You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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