I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
