I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
