so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize