Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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