I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
