; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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