I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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