So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
