I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
