Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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