You really coming over, don't trick.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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