You're completely useless in the revolution.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
