Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
