And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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