yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
