we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
